Recently, I was listening to a Lisa Nichols video on YouTube. There, she discussed: How to Step into Your Purpose. In the video, she talked about the fear of outgrowing her tribe and how her success made her different from the people in her neighborhood, her family and even women of color. At that point, she began to self-sabotaging, ashamed of her success. This ultimately led her to discover that because of her success, she was afraid to leave others behind. Often times we self-sabotage because success leads to abandoning our friends and loved ones as they become our “Negative Nancy’s” and “Debbie Downers”.
As an experiment, I tested out how much negativity surrounds me on a daily basis. In the weeks to come, I would listen keenly to what the people around me say. I was blown away by some of the things that they would be said. Bad days became a cloud of doubt hovering over them. Not only were those very same loved ones injecting their negative words into their life but, dare I say it, my life as well. *GASP* Who knew that listening to them coupled with consistent gossiping would affect me too?
The thought of emancipating myself from my friendships created a slight uneasiness. Apart from family, friends are the necessary components of a healthy lifestyle. After a self-evaluation, I found that my friends were toxic and it was not serving me. I was not growing as an individual. I found myself not progressing, not reading anymore, lazy, yet I found the time for them. Instead, I preferred to troll IG or FB every opportunity I got. To my shame, I was falling into the same conversations with my toxic friends and knew I needed adjustments in my life.
It didn’t take me long to scrub the Naysayers out of my life. The first step to having a problem is to admit to one and take action. I knew I had a toxic friend in my life when I’d reach out to them and got turned down on numerous occasions. Here’s how you can scavenge some of those toxic friends out:
Find a way to limit interactions with them
Protect your ear from their negative comments
Mind your own business – if you have an idea, get started on your own business. The time spent gossiping with your former friend can be spent on your business
Losing friends, especially the close ones, can hurt. However, some tribes are meant to be seasonal and so everyone is not meant to be with you a lifetime. Entrepreneurship is a lonely path and you, only you, know your strengths to get back on track.